Death of a Loved One

Excerpt from “Grief is Holy: A Practical Guide to Grieving with God”:

Death of a loved one is probably the most common reason people think of when they hear that someone is grieving. The death of a loved one is something that is final and has an end that you don’t get an option for. When I was 23 years old and received the news that my dad had passed away, one of my first thoughts was, “That’s it. There’s no more time.” I was thinking about all the conversations we needed to have and weren’t going to get the chance to now. I was thinking about the future and how there was no option for him to be a part of it anymore. He was gone and I couldn’t take that back, I couldn’t add anymore to what was now closed, and I couldn’t take back any of the days before it happened.

I connect the death of a loved one with intrapsychic, role, and sometimes functional loss. When a loved one dies, they also take with them the things that you had planned for and with them. They seem to take with them the title that made you a wife or mom or friend or husband or brother or daughter. And depending on how they supported you, they may have taken away your ability to be independent or heightened your awareness of how much your functionality was dependent on them being present. The loss of a loved one is a deeply layered one.

What has been your experience with losing a loved one?